Courtney Paige Barnett

Copy Editor, Copywriter, Editor, Ghostwriter, Technical Writer

freelance writer, content creator, and comedian

Los Angeles-based writer and comedian.

A regular contributor to satire sites Reductress, The Hard Times, Bunny Ears, and endless scripted comedy content for the internet.

Main writing topics include comedy, feminism, social issues, fashion, and lifestyle, and have generated content for many small businesses across the country through ClearVoice.
Content Types
Article, Blog Post, Social Copy, Script
More Information
University of Texas at Austin, Radio-TV-Film
The Second City Hollywood Training Center, Conservatory
Los Angeles, CA, USA|English

Published Content

Stop Saying I Have Daddy Issues Just Because I Call Them My Dead Gary Issues
August 17th, 2018
Clear Purses To Show Everyone Just How Much You Spit Into Your Purse!
January 3rd, 2019
Mmm Look at This Pie I Baked That None of My Thin Children Are Allowed to Eat
September 27th, 2018
Make Eye Contact With The Groupon People In Your Pilates Class
December 10th, 2018
I Pierced My Clit To Enhance My Sex Life And All It’s Gotten Me Is Months of Explaining That To People
August 31st, 2018
Cultures You Can Safely Appropriate Because They Don’t Have Internet
October 17th, 2018
Balance Your Masculine and Feminine Energies By Almost Beating a Man to Death and Nurturing Him Back to Health
September 24th, 2018
Vintage Looks So Authentic We Swear You’ll Contract Polio
August 14th, 2018
Consuming Activated Cashews Is Like Getting Railed By Mr. Peanut And We Can't Recommend It Enough
October 26th, 2018
Protect Our Nation's Forests So I Have A Place to Play Pretend Witch
December 4th, 2018
Flowy Dresses That'll Make Wind Go, 'Whoosh! Me Wanna See What's Under There!'
October 20th, 2018
Second Laptop Purchased to Make Extra Room for Stickers
January 31st, 2019
Fetish of the Month: Docking On Your Bros
February 1st, 2019
A Log Of Every Inadequate Day Since Smelling This $140 Candle
February 3rd, 2019
My Child's Private School Is Diverse In That There Are Black Dolls
February 5th, 2019
You Quit Smoking? That's Nice. I've Quit 18 Times!
March 11th, 2019
Fetish of the Month: Butt Hickeys
April 1st, 2019
Color Of The Month: Mortified Pale
April 1st, 2019
Wow! This Woman Stood Up to Gender Norms By Naming Her Son 'Vagina'
June 23rd, 2017
Butterfly Emerges from Chrysalis Earlier Than Other Butterfly Friends and With Awesome Boobs
August 25th, 2017
How to Take Back the Word 'Cunt' Without Being a Bitch
July 15th, 2016
7 Women's Supplements That'll Molt Your Body Like A Snake Skin and Let You Start All Over
August 6th, 2018
How to Support Women Without Encouraging This Small Irish Village’s Banshee
October 11th, 2017
Male Feminists Who Are Hot, Thank God
July 20th, 2016
24-Hour Makeup Perfect for Vegas Benders with Michelle
July 27th, 2016
Leg Stretches That Say, ‘My Vagina Is Right Here’
July 25th, 2016
How to Sage Your Vagina After Tyler’s Negative Energy Dick
April 26th, 2016
How to Laugh at His Jokes So Believably You Push Your Tampon Out A Little
June 28th, 2017
If My Mother-in-Law Gave Me Homemade Jams Should I Assume It's to Eat Off Her Son's Body?
October 22nd, 2018
Masculine Voices to Give Your Cat So Your Boyfriend Likes Cats
April 4th, 2016
Sorry I’m Late, I Woke Up to My Bangs Sticking Out Like a Headband Visor Again
September 12th, 2018
How to Steam Your Vagina After You’ve Lost Everything Good in Your Life
February 22nd, 2016
4 Perfume Atomizers That Scream, ‘Yeah, I Took A Burlesque Class Once’
March 20th, 2018
Unisex Clothes That Are Unflattering On Every Gender
March 27th, 2017
Woman Suspicious Boyfriend Also Had Feelings for Past Women He Dated
July 21st, 2017
How to Just Grab His Hand and Cram It Into Your Vagina
December 13th, 2016
Candie’s Shoes to Buy With That Kohl's Gift Card Aunt Sue Insisted on Giving You
January 10th, 2017
Wow! This Couple Knows Each Other’s Passwords But Not The Words to Crazy Town’s 'Butterfly'
January 25th, 2018
4 Relationship Problems You Can Maybe Fix with A Baby Named Ocean
January 17th, 2018
Own The Room By Introducing Yourself with, 'I Came to Fuck'
July 28th, 2016
Father’s Day Gifts for the Man Who Has Everything But Doesn’t Think Women Should
June 15th, 2017
Men Nice Enough to Let You Walk Between Their Hallway-Obstructing Conversation
August 16th, 2018
Clear Purses To Show Everyone Just How Much You Spit Into Your Purse!
Ska Waiter Would Like to Tell You About The Specials
November 27th, 2018
Punk Roommate Has Yet to Be Seen Drinking Water

Articles I've written for comedy sites and marketing content for companies and small businesses.

July 24th, 2018
Punk Girlfriend Confused Why “Boyfriend Jeans” Aren’t Skinny Black Cut-Offs
June 15th, 2018
Creepy Old Attic Sadly Not Haunted, Just Full of A Bunch of Lame Dead Bodies
July 28th, 2018
Vegan Dog Doesn’t Know It
June 20th, 2018
GIRLS NIGHT OUT! The Street Harassment Video Game
September 8th, 2016
Parent Who Is Reason for All Your Problems Suggests Listening to Happier Music
April 7th, 2018
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