My Reason Why
It took me a very long time to discover myself in such a way that I could express myself, my thoughts and also my visions. I often ponder the questions, "Is there anybody reading this?", "Am I really even capable of reaching other people with my words?", "Do I have the ability to make a difference?" These remain unanswered questions, but I will continue to try to do my very best and this is my reason why.
Along the way, I figured out what works for me and also what just simply does not work for me. I know what my low points are, i know what my weak- nesses are and I also know how I work. Unfortunately, I cannot control how another person might think, how another person might treat me and in what situations that have brought unto me up to this point in my life. A lot has happened throughout the course of my own life, so often times I have lost hope, confidence has been damaged and I have quite often even stood on the brink of collapse. However, with time and also with awareness I have been able to find my way back, but I have always kept my goal in the back of my very own mind.
I want to show other people and I want to show the world in its entirety, who it is that I truly am and not just how some people might present me or how some people also treat me. I want to share how I think and also how things can possibly can be improved. I desire to help the people who have experienced things in life that are similar to my own and I want to help to make this world a much better place or at least I want to try, that is.
When I was in a much worse state, it was always something that was missing, somebody who would understand me, who felt what I felt, who could be able to articulate what exactly was going on inside of me, somebody who would take care of me, somebody who might be willing to guide me through my search and also have the ability to name all of the chaos that was going on inside of me. However, when that person would never show up was never there, I eventually realized that I had one of two options: Give up or keep fighting and I chose to fight.
I wanted to discover who that I was as a person, what caused my thoughts, my questions, my emptiness, how I could fill, name and express it,how I could find myself in the midst of all of my very own chaos and also make all of the chaos in the world change. I went through a development and growth that I never imagined up until very recently.
I am an introvert, I am HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), somebody with an extra sense, I see, I feel, I think and I also observe deeply, intensely and I do so quite often. Those are all things that have gotten in my way ever since I can remember. When I am simply just uncertain about something, it makes me feel very vulnerable, because I feel and I also experience every single thing so intensely, overtime - I think that it has caused me some enormous damage in some ways, more than other ways. I have learned my lessons in this and I started to form my own vision, as well as my own passion.
I want to help other people see, feel and also think that things can be different, because it truly is possible, as long as you are willing to look at yourself with all pure and genuine intentions and to express this.